On Mumbai n Patna

Uff...exam ke time bhi chain nahi milega kya? neways, here's a peep into what's not been letting me concentrate half the day.

Regarding the chaos in Mumbai, I find myself agreeing with the Mumbai janta. Please note the 'Mumbai janta'. The Mumbai janta, which includes the Marathis and also the non-Marathis, have a point. However, that point has been twisted beyond recognition by Mr. Raj Thackeray and Mr. Lalu Prasad Yadav and the rest of UPite-Bihari Politicians. The point that Mumbai janta wants to make to the rest of the nation and the powers that be, is that Mumbai is filled to capacity, and has reached a limit where it can't accomodate any more people.

Every city has a limit to its growth, decided mainly by its population, level of industrialization, resource utilization, pollution and availability of food. For details, check out Limits to Growth by Meadows, Meadows, Randers and Behrens. It discusses the whole earth as the system, but we can easily make the analogy to a city. So, beyond this limit, the city cannot grow. Beyond this limit, the general living conditions start deteriorating as the same amount of resources, etc. gets divided amongst more people. So what the Mumbai janta wants to say is that Mumbai has reached its limit. No. Let me make a correction. MUMBAI HAS REACHED ITS LIMIT. There, that's better.

So, if Mr. Raj Thackeray really wants to help Mumbai, he should stop all this gunda-gardi, 'cos ultimately that's what it is, in the name of Marathi Sanskriti and get down to some solid work. Getting the government to develop new satellite cities to support Mumbai would be a good idea. Hell, it would be the best! It's working for New Delhi, isn't it?

So now that we've discussed that part of the issue, let's come to the second half. Mr. Raj Thackeray seems to have given the UP-Bihar politicians the best B'day gift possible. He has given them another non-issue, namely Marathi-bashing, to get over the elections. भाई, काम तो कुछ किया नहीं है पिछले २० सालों से. लालू जी, आपकी सरकार कितने साल रही है बिहार में? १५ साल या कुछ था न नम्बर? With no development and increasing lawlessness for more than 15 years, Bihar is indeed in a deplorable state. तो बिहारी जनता migrate नहीं करेगी तो क्या करेगी? पर बिहारी नेताओं को इस बात से कुछ फर्क थोड़े ही ना पड़ता है. काम नहीं किया तो क्या हुआ, अब बस एक-दो गरम-गरम speeches देंगे, बिहारियों का खून खौलायेंगे, २-३ train जलवायेंगे , votes तो मिल ही जायेंगे.

I Am An INDIAN

The recent upheavals in the country's politics are driving me crazy. Suddenly, some people have become Hindi-speaking and some have become Marathi-speaking, some have become Assamese and some are Kashmiri Muslims and Kashmiri Hindus. And oh! Some are Hindus and Muslims and Christians too. And suddenly some people have discovered that the rest of the world is out to get them, that if they don't go out on a rampage, they are gonna get destroyed by the evil world! The doofuses don't even realise that they are being manipulated by the politicians for votes. Or maybe they do. Maybe they just don't care anymore, so long as they can blame their personal failures on someone else.

You know what hurts me even more? It's when educated people, supposedly intelligent people, speak that way. You may be my best friend but if you think in one language and I think in some other language, you will not welcome me into your home. You will shoo me away at the door.

Well, I refuse. I refuse to be a Hindu or a Muslim or a Christian or a Sikh or of any other faith. I refuse to belong to U.P. or Bengal or Bihar or Tamil Nadu or Maharashtra or to any other region. I refuse to be considered a Kannada-speaking person or a Marathi-speaking person or a Hindi-speaking person. I refuse to be a Brahmin or a Scheduled caste person. I REFUSE. I will not belong to a part when I can belong to a whole. 

My name's Kanika, and I am an Indian. I refuse to be part of any other country. I refuse to belong to any other religion or region. I refuse to speak any other language. I am an Indian. 

सिर्फ़ एक सवाल

मेरा तुम दोनों से सिर्फ़ एक सवाल है, राम और सीता। तुम दोनों ने अपनी सारी ज़िन्दगी समाज के नाम कर दी। चौदह साल का वनवास झेला, ताकि तुम रावन को खत्म कर सको। यूँ तो शादी के एक-आध साल बाद ही अपना परिवार शुरू कर देते हैं लोग, पर तुमने चौदह साल ख़ुद को संतान के सुख से वंचित रखा, ताकि तुम अपने लक्ष्य में कामयाब हो सको। यहाँ तक कि तुम दोनों को एक दूसरे से विरह कि यंत्रणा भी झेलनी पड़ी। सीता को रावन के हाथों अपना अपमान सहना पड़ा। सीता, न जाने रावण ने तुम्हें कितने दुःख दिए होंगे लंका में। राम, उस युद्ध में तुमने कितनी बार अपने शरीर को कटवाया होगा, कितना खून बहाया होगा, कितनी पीडा सही होगी। मेरा सवाल यह है: इतना सब कर के भी तुम्हें क्या मिला? सीता, तुम्हारे ऊपर लांछन लगाया गया, तुम्हारे सतीत्व को नकारा गया। राम, तुम्हारे सामने तुम्हारी पत्नी का अपमान किया गया। तुम्हें मजबूर किया गया कि तुम उसे त्याग दो। और ये सब रावण ने नही किया। ये सब किया उन्ही लोगों ने जिनके लिए तुम दोनों ने दुनिया के सब सुखों का त्याग किया था। तो बताओ मुझे, राम और सीता, तुम्हें क्या मिला?

The Story of a Princess-10- The War Meeting

Laxman: Do you think father will allow it?

Ram: He’ll have to. She has as much right to be there as you and I have.

L: You can’t seriously say that to father! He’ll throw both of us out!

R: I can still reason with him.

L: Ask nicely. If you ask, he might allow.

R: Yeah, I will.

I don’t know how Ram got King Dasrath to allow me to attend the war meeting, but he managed somehow. I had a feeling that he had a lot of help from Mother Sumitra.

The meeting turned out to be a farce.

Ram formally opened the meeting by greeting everyone and introducing us to one another. He then proceeded to explain to them why the meeting had been called. He talked at length about Jansthan and about Ravan and his Rakshasas. He stressed the need for military action to stop the rakshasas from killing innocent people.

He might as well have been talking to stone walls. The Council did not want to open hostilities with Lanka. Ayodhya could not afford to anger Ravan. It was better for everyone if they just sat tight and let the wind blow over.

Ram: I cannot believe this! I found more courage among the simple tribals of Jansthan, who did not even know how to use a bow, than I find in this Council today.

Counselor 1: Those tribals did not have the responsibility of an entire kingdom on their hands, Ram. If we fight and if we lose, Ravan won’t leave a single citizen of Ayodhya alive.

R: But we don’t have to lose!

C2: With Ravan as strong as he is, it is highly likely that we will, Ram.

I: What do you think will happen if we don’t fight, Counselor? Ravan is spreading his tentacles. Before we realize it, he will be storming our doors.

C3: Well, we could have a peace treaty with Lanka…

L: What? A peace treaty with someone like Ravan?! After his rakshasas so brutally murdered our innocent citizens?

R: I agree with Laxman. A peace treaty is out of the question with those cannibals. We have to fight him.

C2: Ram, Jansthan might have been a freak accident. Why make an opinion….?

R: An accident? Hundreds of people killed, even children, their insides ripped out, their flesh roasted in the kitchens of Ravan’s generals, the women raped, tortured and killed to satisfy the lust of the rakshasas, and you still think it was an accident?

His skin was glowing again. I think it was the adrenaline that did this. 

C2: We have to assume it was. Or do you want that what happened in Jansthan should happen to the entire Aryavarta? We cannot afford to irk Ravan. I am sure the council agrees with me on this.

There was a collective assent and Ram could say no more. The meeting was concluded.

The Story of a Princess-9

Even after the wedding celebrations got over, we continued our evening excursions. The courtiers, who had initially thought this to be a passing phase, now started raising objections. They started with the issue of security. As the crown prince, it was Ram’s duty to take his personal safety seriously. And was it right to risk the life of his wife and his younger brother this way? Ram could have said that he could very well protect his wife and his younger brother against any enemy, and he would not have been making an overstatement. But he was not given to making such proud remarks, even if he knew them to be true. As usual, Laxman came to his rescue, “I can protect my bhaiya and bhabhi without any help. No harm can come to them while I am alive. Bhaiya won’t even need to string his bow. I can single-handedly destroy all his enemies”. (Later, when the three of us were alone, he said, “I just said all that to shut those people up. So you two, don’t go about getting into trouble, all right?” It had been a really long time since the all of us had laughed so hard.)

Their second objection was me. Was it appropriate for a lady of the royal family to walk among the commoners so? Was it right for the future Queen to appear before men not her kin, without a veil? Was it appropriate for her to interact with male strangers at all? I could feel my ears burning. What were these people implying? Suddenly Ram spoke up. Why should Sita, or any other woman, have to cover her face? Why should she feel shame in talking to men? Why can’t she hold her head up high and feel proud to be a woman? She is a daughter of the same Mother as we are, Mother Earth, for whom all her children are equally precious.

Ram’s skin has a natural blue glow about it, but now it had turned a beautiful, dark blue. This took my mind completely off everything else. I looked around, but it seemed like no one else had noticed anything. The council-men were muttering. While it was all right for Ram to talk about respecting women and treating them as equals, we should not forget the threat posed by Ravan and his rakshasas , who given half a chance, will destroy everything we hold dear. We ask women, and particularly Princess Sita, to stay indoors for their own protection.

“Princess Sita can protect herself!”

Who said that? And why is everyone looking at me like that? Did I say that? Shut up, you fool! You’re only making a bad situation worse. But I couldn’t stop. “Princess Sita can protect herself. She has been trained in the art of war. She will not be confined indoors.” With that I walked out. Behind me, I could hear the meeting getting concluded.

“Well spoken,” that was Ram. “Yeah, but the council wasn’t happy”. Laxman. “I don’t care”. Me.

Later.

Ram: Sita…

I: Yes?

R: Will you do something for me?

I: Why is that even a question? You know I will if I can.

R: I know, but this is somewhat different….

I: Say it, Ram.

Sita, I know you were trained by the best teachers in Mithila. You were given all the arms training that is only imparted to princes these days.

I: Yes….

R: And I know that if you were to take up a bow, there are very few warriors in Aryavarta who can stand up against you….

I: I am nowhere as good as that….

R: Shut up! I saw a couple of you practice sessions in Mithila..

I(taken aback): How? When?

R(smiling now): Let’s just say that you are not the only expert at disguises around here. The point is, you are among the best warriors I have ever seen, and believe me, I have seen my fair share.

I: Okkk….so?

R: Well, Sita, I want you to promise me that you won’t take up arms in the war that I am foreseeing, unless I specifically ask you to….

I: What? But why? If I can…

R: I can’t explain. It’s just that….wars with rakshasas get very ugly and….well thay don’t always fight fair…and they don’t always kill quickly. They don’t have any humanity. Just….just do it for me, will you?

I: Ok Ram. I promise. But you’ll also have to promise me two things.

R: What?

I: If there is the need, you wont think twice before asking me to fight.

R: I won’t. I promise.

I: And Ram…

R: Yes?

I: Promise me you’ll protect my honor before my life?

R: I’ll….I’ll always protect you.

The Story of a Princess-8

They were right. Life does get very formal after marriage, especially if you marry the crown prince of Ayodhya. But you will never know, because you won’t ever get to marry him really; not because you and he are so distant in time and space, but because he swore by the holy fire of the yajna and by his own honor as a man, that he will not have a second wife as long as he lived. And I know Ram. He’ll keep his word.

Funny thing is, I never asked to be the only woman in his life. Later when I asked him why he took that oath, he gave a sad smile and said, “You are now in the royal house of Ayodhya. You’ll find out soon enough.”

The next few days were very hectic. With the first rays of the sun, prayers and chants would start, seeking God’s blessings for the ‘newly married couple’. These prayers always made me want to laugh-they asked that Ram may have the strength to protect me and kingdom, that he may have the courage in battle, that he may rule his people justly, that he may have a long life, and on and on and on. And me? Well they prayed that I may give birth to strong sons. Wow! So much for my ‘future role as the Queen of Ayodhya’!

The prayers got over about mid-day. After a brief period of rest, we would meet the courtiers and generals of Ayodhya who were coming from different parts of the kingdom to congratulate their future king (and queen). On the first day, Ram and Laxman gave their account of the situation in Jansthan, and then it was decided to have a full-fledged war-meeting on the issue as soon as everyone had assembled at Ayodhya.

Ram refused to have anything scheduled for our evenings. I can only imagine the knowing smiles and the winks and the silent laughter of the courtiers and the priests when he expressed his disinclination. But this was our decision. We wanted to spend the evenings out in the streets of Ayodhya, getting to know the people. And Ram stubbornly refused to have any guard accompany us either. “I don’t want to intimidate the people. I don’t want them to fear me. I want them to see me as one of their own,” he said. Laxman, being Laxman, insisted on accompanying us. Well, we would have asked him to come along anyway.

These evenings were delightful. The people seemed to love these two brothers genuinely. To my relief, they accepted me instantly. They would meet us, greet us with love, bless us, ask us the news from Jansthan, about Mithila, whether it is really as beautiful a city as people say it is and how I liked Ayodhya. They would tell us of their own lives. Ram made it a point to ask them about their problems, offered solutions where he thought they could deal with it themselves. Otherwise the first thing he did after we got back to the palace was to give orders that the problem be dealt with immediately. I couldn’t help thinking that he would make an amazing ruler.

We were growing in popularity. Everyday we found more and more people coming for us for help. We tried not to disappoint anyone. Whoever came to us with a request was satisfied. I did not care anymore that the priests and the royal family only considered me useful enough to produce heirs to the throne. Because of the love of my people and the respect and love that Ram gave me, I was already the uncrowned queen of Ayodhya’s people.

The Story of a Princess-7

Look at how you've grown, little one! You were but a dream just a while ago, an idea, a concept, a hope. And look at you now, with dreams and plans and hopes of your own! You were born of a tear from your mother's eye, when she could no longer bear the degradation of her human children. Like a piece of light you had floated down from her, taking all her pain in your own tiny little heart. You had given her hope, you had restored her faith for a while longer. She watched over you, nervously, as you grew up; she tried to teach you, little by little, of the purpose of life, the purpose of your life, the purpose of all life, all the while afraid that she might slip and reveal too much, or explain too less. And now, you, my daughter, know everything. There is nothing more I can, or rather I should, tell you.

Yes, you are my daughter. You are a Dharti-putri. Don't be amazed, or ashamed, or proud of this. I am the mother of all beings. They are born of me, I nourish them and when they die, they come and sleep in my lap. But you are different too, in the sense that you can feel what I feel, and you should never forget this. You were born of my pain and sorrow. I am sorry that I could give you nothing besides. I am sorry that you will have to deal with more than your fair share of pain. I am sorry that in spite of being your mother, I cannot help you. This pain is your destiny.

But not right now. Tonight I have come to give you a gift that I give to all my daughters, be they she-wolves or hens, the ability to create life, to give love and to nurture, the way I have nurtured you all these years. Always remember, any of my children can destroy existence, but only you, my daughters, can bring it into being.

But you, Sita, Queen-to-be, have an additional burden. You have to make sure that the children of earth live together in harmony, that the strong protect the weak, not oppress them. And to do this, you might have to fight either a battle or a war. That depends on how soon the lesson is learnt by those who need it. I also charge you to remember that justice must prevail at all costs, since you are going to be the Queen of more than a mere earthly kingdom. And to this Queen I give these: the freshness of morning air, the experience, stability and tolerance of earth, the wisdom of the stars who see all, the resourcefulness of a river, the brilliance of fire and the swiftness of lightning. May they be of use to you.

When you wake up, you will remember this meeting only vaguely, but it will come back to you as time progresses. Meanwhile, enjoy your married life that starts tomorrow. Ram is a good man. Even I couldn't have chosen better. Farewell child. Be happy, while you still can.

I don't remember the words, only their meaning. I couldn't say what language she spoke. I only remember the sound of a mountain stream and twittering birds, perhaps a bee or two, a strange scent, like that of grass. Even now she speaks in the same language.

CL

CL, as the Central Library is known to us KGPians, has just undergone a facelift, and it is looking beautiful.I went there today, and I realized, I have just one year left to enjoy it. Now, I am not a 'muggu', not by a long shot, but I think I am really gonna miss our CL. I mean, which other library allows its users to keep the books for months? Usually they need the books to be re-issued every 4-5 day, or a week. And yes, it is the biggest technical library in Asia. One could spend a lifetime in there if one wanted to. I'll miss the freedom it gave me and the opportunity it offered me. I'll miss the sofas in the newspaper corner. I'll miss the journal section. The collection there has always amazed me. God, it's the end already!!!!

Convo Live!!!

Wed, July 23'08, 7:15 pm
Convocation on 25th, and most of my ben log coming to attend. P. is already here, A. and S. on the move. D. has also moved out of her amchi Mumbai, and is on the way here. L. arrived yesterday only with a big surprise for her BF on his B'day( we're still waiting for a bite of the huge cake dear L. :) ). Sr. has left Kota for Kgp Sweet Kgp. No news of Po. though. Wonder where she is. That leaves me, a fifth year student now and an attending-convo-from-the-visitors'-gallery person with a huge dilemma: how to make the sleeping arrangements. My vella wingies don't mind throwing me out of my room, as they have repeatedly assured me. WOW! This is gonna be fun. Been waiting for this a long time.

D.O.

This appeared in the Times Of India, Tuesday, August 14, 2007, for their Lead India initiative. I am putting it up here partly because I think everyone should look at it again, and partly because I can't store the paper anymore.

D.O.

Two simple letters.

Place them side by side however,
and they form a word potent enough
to turn a mass of people into a nation.

Do.

The last time we decided to Do or Die
it changed the map of the world. Today,
the eyes of the world are on us again.

So what are we going to do?

How are we going to turn from a land
of philosophers into a nation of do-ers?

Are we going to keep thinking about
what we should be doing or do
something about what we're thinking?

Are we going to simply shrug our
shoulders, blame our infrastructure, our
bureaucracy and our political system?

Or are we going to roll up our sleeves,
get up and actually do something
about it?

The truth is this.

Thinking can happen from an armchair.
But doing must happen on your feet.

Thinking may be a great way of
getting things started. But doing is the
only way to get things done.

And let's face it. You are never really
caught in a traffic jam.

You are the traffic jam.

Today we are in our 60th year of
independence. That works out to more than half a century.

And we're still happy being called
a potential superpower, an emerging
economy or a sleeping tiger?

THIS MUST CHANGE.

AND IT'S ONLY POSSIBLE IF SOME OF US SEIZE
THE DAY AND DARE TO BE THE CHANGE.

So let's stop basking in our glorious
past or daydreaming about our great
future. Let's start by dominating today.

And domination starts with DO.

The Power of Suggestion

It's almost official. Patients with serious illnesses show signs of improving health when they believe that the sugar pill they are taking is actually a new miracle medicine. Scientists call this the power of suggestion. But of course, we've known it all along. Take the reverse case. Consider hypochondriacs. Someone tells them that they don't look so good, and they'll actually start feeling down and ill. They'll go to a doctor, who, if he/she knows their medical history, will give them some sugar pills and they'll start feeling better. It's not really their fault, but don't we make so much fun of such people?

We see it in practice daily, this awesome power of suggestion. Two very close friends will suddenly start feeling differently for each other when their other common friends tell them that perhaps, maybe, probably, definitely, they like each other, or, even better, the other person loves them. Classic matchmaking. Amazing.

A dress in a shop. You pass by without giving it a second glance. But someone suddenly says,"Hey! That's a nice dress." and you suddenly realize, "Hey! It is!"

A new song. You hear it once. It's okay. Then you meet someone and they are completely in love with this song. The next time you hear it, you're like,"That's a nice song! How come I didn't notice it before?!"

A guy/girl you've been 'just' friends with for a very long time, and honest to God, they're nice, but you don't look at them that way. Then somebody comes along and tells you what they like in them, and suddenly, you start liking them too. Or, someone you really think you love, and then your very close friend tells you that the person has so many faults, and you realize, "How have I been living with person for so long?!" I'm sounding repetitive now, right?

We can't escape this power. We're either the suggestor or the suggestee, for lack of better words. So here I am, suggesting this to whoever bothers to read all this: this is such a nice blog. Why don't you leave some nice comments here? It will give me such a nicey-nice feeling if you did. :) hehe

The Story of a Princess-6

They would be trying out their strength at the bow in exactly one week. Till then father had arranged for them to be involved in activities like hunting, sight-seeing, etc. to keep them from getting bored. Also, I suspect he wanted to delay his own disappointment as much as possible. He seemed to have grown somewhat fond of them. It was natural for anyone to like them, but my father was not just anyone. He was my father, and I could not help feeling a pang of jealousy for these outsiders.

Anyhow, I met them sometimes in the gardens. We made a lively threesome, when we were sure of our privacy, squabbling over every issue under the sun. That is, I and Lakshman squabbled, Ram tried his best to maintain his composure and his wise demeanor, but we usually managed to pull him in. It wasn't so difficult, given my somewhat radical views and Lakshman's temper, and Ram's own somewhat rigid sense of right and wrong. Our discussions usually left all three of us shaken at the end.

R.: Tomorrow.

I: What?

R.: Tomorrow all this ends.

Lakshman suddenly became serious. I was still not getting it.

I: What ends?

L.: Our friendship, what else?

I: Why? Have you decided not to break the bow after all?

R.: You know that's not possible.

I: Yes. The bow can't be left for Ravan to use.

I used to love taunting him like this, 'cos he could not protest this in front of his younger brother. Lakshman had once commented, " This is the first time I am seeing a girl making a guy blush." But today Ram didn't take the bait. I was confused. I looked from one to the other.

R.: After marriage, a girl is expected to behave in a certain way with her in-laws. You cannot joke and jump there as you do here.

I: Do you think I behave this way with everyone? You are the first real friends I've ever had.

Ram and Lakshman looked at each other.

L.: What he means is that you won't even be able to do that with us.

I: Why?

L.: Hasn't anybody told you anything yet?

I: You forget, you are talking to a motherless child.

L.: I am sorry. I didn't mean that.

I: I know. It's okay.

L.: See, after marriage, you'll become my Bhabhi. Our relation will become a lot more formal.

R.: And you will become my wife and the future queen of Ayodhya. There will be a lot of expectations from us. We'll be required to behave in a certain way.....

I: I get it. Tomorrow it all ends.

The cheerful atmosphere seemed to have evaporated. We all looked at the setting sun. Soon it would be time for me to leave.

R.: There's one more thing that I need to tell you, and it's important that I do this before tomorrow.

I: Go ahead.

R.: While we were in Jansthan, I and Lakshman decided that the only way to bring peace to those people was to uproot the might of Ravan. But even with the entire strength of Ayodhya, it might take around 5-10 years to bring this about.

I: So your point is...?

R.: My point is: would you be willing to marry someone who would be absent from your life for such a long time? I might not be able to give you the bliss of family life at all, 'cos I will not return till Ravan is defeated.

I: Oh! You mean, you plan to leave me behind?

R.: Why should it be otherwise? Battlefield is no place for.....oh! I am sorry. We've argued over that before.

I: Good, you remember! Now, I will give you two choices: If you decide to string that bow tomorrow, rest assured that I will accompany you every step of your life. I will walk with you through Hell if that's what it takes to bring Ravan down. If you think that that's not the way a Queen should behave, then you are free not to string the bow. I will personally go one night and destroy it so nobody can use it, and that will complete this part of your mission.

R.: No. You are right. A Queen has as much responsibility towards her people as a King, and slightly more, because she's the one who guides the king in times of darkness. My Lady, I would be honored to have you as my Queen.

L.: She reminds me of mother Sumitra. They're fire, both of them. But tell me this Sita, who will rule the kingdom in the absence of Ram? And Ram, wouldn't it be better that she does? She would be much better than me or Bharat or Shatrughan.

R.: Yes she would. But it is her choice. Either of you or Bharat would be good for the job, in case she decides not to. Shatrughan is too young.

L.: I am not leaving your side. You really think you could do it on your own?

I: And neither am I. I happen to know some medicine, in addition to archery. You will find me useful in your task.

R.: So, now it only remains to convince Bharat somehow.

He said it with such a straight face that we started laughing. Of course, it would not be an easy task convincing Bharat. But we could worry about that later, when time came.

Just Like That

Is it really wrong to hope for some sanity in your life? My mind is in turmoil and I don't even know the reason. There's some sort of sadness and don't know the source. I think it's time for a trip home. Even worms need their little holes to crawl into. Why should people be any different?

The Story of a Princess-5

They finally reached Mithila. I looked on from one of the palace windows as my father welcomed them. They were dressed like jungle-folk, but their bearing told me that they were the princes I had heard so many stories about. Mithila had been buzzing with excitement ever since the news of their coming reached here. Vishwamithra looked like an old man drunk with the wine of youth. There was a spring in his step and a sparkle in his eyes. The younger brother was about my age, and his face shone with the pride of a boy who had just bagged his first buck. Though in his case the 'buck' was probably a rakshas or two, as I had been told by my maids. Nevertheless, he was still much a boy. It was the older brother who really had everybody's attention. He was not the handsomest guy I'd ever seen. No. That would be his brother, once he grew up. There was no pride on his face at his recent feats. His face portrayed calm and serenity, but there was a pain hidden deep in his eyes, and suddenly I realized, he was looking right at me. I saw my father turning around to follow his gaze, and suddenly I was running, running back to my room to still my trembling heart.

"So, did you like him?", it was the Spirit again.

I: Go away.

S.: Yes. I think I'll do that. I think I'll take a stroll in the garden, smell the flowers, feel the grass....

I: Can you actually do that? Smell and feel, I mean?

S.: Why shouldn't I?

I: I mean, you are not, y'know, solid. You are like a ghost-thing, a spirit.

S.: Girl, I am the flower, I am the smell, I am the grass, I am the breeze, I am the trembling of your heart, I am the gaze of his eyes, I am the pain in his heart, I am the fall of his feet on the grass.....

I: He's in the garden?!

S.: Here I am explaining to her the greatest mystery of life and she's only interested in a blue-colored boy! Why, yes. He is in the garden.

I: Why didn't you tell me before?

I quickly changed into my disguise and ran out. I found him at the deep end of the garden with his brother. They were walking and discussing something. He looked extremely disturbed. I sneaked closer to listen.

R.: It's just that, how can I marry a girl knowing that my heart belongs to another?

I: Oh no!!

L.: You don't even know who this girl is! You just saw her once and then she disappeared. She might be anyone. She might even be married!

R.: Don't say that!

L.: I am sorry brother, but you know that we have to destroy Shiva's bow, and you are the only one who can do that.

I: So that's why you came here. For the bow! Not for me. For the bow.

I was so angry, I got careless. It was only the slightest sound, but they had been living in the jungle for months, where they probably had to be on the alert always for survival. They started searching around. I had no choice but to step out, to avoid being exposed.

I(bowing low): My lords, is something wrong?

L.: We heard someone. We thought someone was hiding around, but it was probably you. What are you doing here anyways? Has the King sent any message?

I: No, my lord.

L.: Then?

I: The princess asked me to fetch a particular flower, that she's very fond of, from the garden. I came here to get it.

L.: I don't see any flowers in this part of the garden. There're only fruit trees here. Tell me, why are you here?

I was so angry I was finding it difficult to keep my eyes downcast, as is wont of servants.

I: I am new here. I don't know my way around. I am sorry if I disturbed you. I'll go now.

L.: I don't think so.....

For the first time, he spoke," Leave her be, Lakshman." We both heard the tremor in his voice and looked at him. He looked as if he'd seen a ghost.

R.: Forgive my brother, Lady. Our experiences in the forest have made him too cautious.

I: Yes. I have heard stories about you, how you went to the jungle to fight the rakshasas, but they were never complete. If I might be so bold to ask, what happened out there?

L.: Don't you have an errand to run?

I: Yes. Yes, I am sorry. I'll leave now.

I was hurt, and it must have shown on my face because both of them spoke at the same time,

R.: Please, wait!

L.: I'm sorry.

And for the next half an hour or so, they told me of their adventures in Jansthan and the forest, how the people were terrorized by some rakshasas and how Vishwamithra came to their father to ask for a loan of his son, Ram.

L.: Father did not want Ram to go, him being his favorite 'n all, but he'd given his word. Then mother Sumitra told him that it was his duty as the king to protect his people. And she said to me," Lakshman, go with your brother." No hesitation, no motherly tears. Just like that.

R.: Mother Sumitra is a very strong woman. She is fire. It's a pity that society does not allow a woman to rule a kingdom.

L.: Yes. She would have made a great leader, especially now.

I: Why now?

L.: Well, Ravan is spreading his tentacles wider now, isn't he? He plans to annex all of Aryavart. Already he has started terrorizing the poor jungle-folk and the smaller kingdoms. His rakshasas sneak up in the dead of the night, burn entire villages and go away.

R.: We reached one such village in the morning. The cottages were still smouldering. There was stench of burning flesh all over. Most of the people had not been able to escape their burning homes, and they were the lucky ones.

I: Why?

They looked at each other. I knew they were debating whether to tell me all of it or not.Then Ram spoke,"Some people escaped the fire. They were captured and taken to the forest. We found their tortured and mutilated bodies some distance away." There was so much anguish in his eyes as if he could somehow physically feel their pain. And somehow, through him, I could too. It was so intense I found myself crying.

I: So did you capture the culprits?

L.: No we didn't. We killed them in battle.

I: Just the two of you?

L.: Well, I was all for it. But Ram here decided to organize the villagers and forest-folk into a small fighting unit. We sent out messengers to everyone to meet up at Jansthan. They were hesitant initially, afraid that we would not win, that the rakshasas would take revenge on them afterwards. But eventually most of them came.

R.: They had been trampled on for too long. They had totally lost faith in themselves. Fear does that to people. Our biggest challenge was to remove that fear. That's why organizing them to fight back was essential. We might have fought the rakshasas alone. We might even have won. But new rakshasas would have come as soon as we left, knowing that the people were weak and afraid. But now they will think twice before attacking any village, because they know that the villagers and jungle-folk would unite immediately to drive them out of their holes and slay them.

L.: You should have seen the change that came over them. Suddenly those meek and trembling men and women lost their fear. They had a new determination in their eyes. The very thought of fighting for their freedom seemed to have freed them.

I: I should have liked to have been there.

L.: And what would you have done there?

I: Fought alongside you, of course. Didn't you say the women fought too?

L.: The women took care of the food and the injured. The battlefield is not meant for them.

I: The battlefield is not meant for anyone, man or woman. But when someone attacks your freedom, you have to fight back the best you can, otherwise you may lose it forever. You cannot afford to wait for someone else to come and save the day.

R(in a strange voice): Who are you, Lady? No common servant-girl can have the guts you have, talking to two strange men so frankly, nor the wisdom, saying the things you have said.

L.: Nor would she carry around a dagger hidden in her clothes!

With that he cut the string holding the dagger which fell down, and tried to hold my hands behind me. Now, he could have been rude to me and I would have forgiven him, but no man touches me. No one. With one move I threw him down and jumped some distance away. All this while Ram hadn't said a word. I addressed him now.

I: Prince Ram, I am not your enemy. But may I count you as my friend?

R.: Friends don't come under disguises, Princess. But since you have asked for our friendship, you shall certainly have it.

L.: What?! You're the Princess Sita?! But why the disguise in your own palace?

I: Think.

R.: I guess you wanted to know what sort of people we were. But why? It's not like you have a choice over who you are going to marry. Those are the rules of the competition!

I: Don't I?

R.: But how? I don't see the good King Janak backing out of his promise if someone manages to string the bow.

I: Yes. If.

L.: Hey! Stop being so mysterious now! Tell us. You said we were friends.

I: The question is: Do you really want to know? Do you really want to string the bow?

L.: What can be so difficult about stringing a bow?

I: Why don't you give it a try now? It's getting dark. The temple would be empty.

L.: Are you challenging us?

I: If you want to take it as a challenge...

We went to the temple. It was dark. We entered via the back entrance even though the front was always kept open, just to avoid being noticed. Lakshman went ahead to look at the bow. I and Ram stayed behind.

R.: Y'know, before I came here, my sole intention was to destroy the bow so that it could not be used by anyone for wrong purposes.

I: Never mind if you got a bride for your efforts?!

R.: Yes, but that was till yesterday. But when I saw you at the palace window today, and after talking to you......I think you are a remarkable woman....but of course, only if you wish to.....

There was a long pause.

R.: Of course, if you don't want.....

I: The bow can't be destroyed unless it is strung.

It was as if three people started breathing simultaneously. Lakshman started laughing. I sensed Ram was blushing and so was I. I threw Lakshman a reproachful look.

L.: Hey! You eavesdropped on us too!!

And then we all laughed.

R.: So how do you string the bow? Have you tried, Lakshman?

L.: Did you really think I would?

I showed them how to string the bow, and then how to destroy it. When I came back to my room, I found it filled with a very beautiful fragrance. It felt as if the Spirit was smiling at me.

The Story of a Princess-4

They came and failed, all those great, strong warriors. There was hardly any in the whole of Aryavart who didn't try. They would all come twirling their moustaches, bragging of their bravery and strength, and leave telling my father of the impossibility of the task. And I would have to sit through all of this in the upper balcony on my father's orders and also of the Spirit's. "Otherwise how would you know if the person is suited for you or not?", the Spirit would say. I didn't even know what kind of a person was 'suited' for me. All I did know was that none of those princes were. They were loud, proud insolent braggarts who barely showed respect to my father. I shuddered to think how they must treat their subjects.

The Spirit, as per her habit, suggested a way to find out. So I found myself dressed like a servant, going round the palace and the gardens after my suitors. I even went outside the palace gates on some occasions. What I saw, what I heard, changed my life forever.

Most of them did not give a damn about their sub-ordinates. Sometimes, they were only rude. At other times, they would have their servants beaten up for minor mistakes, or misbehave with the female servants. The best of them were neutral towards them, neither kind nor cruel. Since I was dressed as a servant, I myself came too close to danger sometimes. The only thing that saved me was that I was dressed as a servant of my own kingdom, and so they did not have any authority over me.

I remember an incident when one of my own servants came to deliver a message from the king, my father, to one of my suitors. He was in the garden at the time and I hid behind a tree, for fear of being identified. When the girl turned around to leave, the guy caught her hand. The poor girl was petrified, and so was I. What should I do? If I tried to help her, I would be exposed. It would mean embarrassment for my father and the royal house. But if I didn't, would I ever be able to forgive myself? I covered my face and stepped out of the shadows. The prince was so amazed by my sudden appearance that he forgot to hold on tight to the girl's hand and she ran away. I then bowed low and told him that the king wanted to see him immediately. That saved both of us, though my father did ask me later if I knew a servant-girl who was dressed in orange and who covered her face all the time. Apparently, she had played a joke on our guest who was not very amused.

Dressed as a servant of my own palace, I chatted with the servant-girls who came from other kingdoms. I got to know their customs and traditions. Some were the same as my own, and some were entirely different. I sometimes coaxed them to talk about their masters, and they would tell me tales that would chill my heart or make me double up with laughter. It would always become impossible for me to picture that man as my husband after any such conversation.

While digging up the pasts of my suitors, I also learnt about my own kingdom. I learnt about the problems and difficulties faced by my people and understood how the laws of the land affected their lives. I had known Nyay from the point of view of the King. Now I came to know of it from that of the people. I also understood the responsibility of the King to protect his people. This I learned from a very interesting conversation with a girl whose sister was a servant in the royal house of Ayodhya. I'll call her Lata.

Lata: She is an amazing woman. My sister told me about her.

I: Who?

L.: Sumitra. The second wife of the king Dashrath of Ayodhya.

I: What about her?

L.: Imagine the fire of a thousand suns. That's what she is.

I: You mean she's very beautiful?

L.: She is. But she's fire.

I: Don't be so cryptic. Explain in detail.

L.: Well, apparently a sage came to Dashrath's court to ask for his son Ram, in order to get rid of some terrible Rakshasas in the forest where he lives.

I: What are Rakshasas?

L.: I don't really know. Never seen one myself. But from what I've heard, they are terrible creatures who eat the flesh of humans. They have no pity, no remorse. Wherever they go, dead and mutilated bodies pile up as high as the sky. Obviously, Dashrath was very reluctant to send his most beloved son out on a mission like that. When Sumitra heard, she went to him, ablaze with indignition. She not only got him to send Ram with the sage, but also ordered her own son Lakshman to accompany his brother, saying that it is the duty of the kings to protect their people. Lakshman must have been, what, 15 years old at the time? And she didn't flinch, not for a second. I daresay, if Ram and Lakshman had not been allowed to go, she would have taken up bow and arrow herself and gone off.

I: So did Ram and Lakshman succeed in their task?

L.: Well, both the princes were very brave.....

I: You mean they died?

L.: No. I mean that they might be very brave, but they are only boys, and the rakshasas are very strong.

I: So? (Somehow this conversation was really scaring me)

L.: So I don't really know the end of the story, nor can I predict it. I've heard snatches here and there, about them fighting a couple of rakshasas, but that's it. If you want to know the whole story, just wait four more days.

I: Why? Is your sister coming to Mithila?

L.: No. But the princes are.

Later
I: 'fire of a thousand suns', huh?

Spirit: I am with everyone. Some listen to me more than others. Like Sumitra.

I: And what exactly are these rakshasas?

S.: Humans, like you, but so corrupted by evil that they barely resemble who they're supposed to be.

I: Do they really eat human flesh?

S.: Some do. They believe that it makes them stronger. Otherwise, they just slaughter entire villages for fun. The forest-folk are terrified of them. That's why the sage Vishwamithra went to Dashrath for help.

I: So, did the princes succeed?

S.(smiling): Why don't you wait four days? I think Vishwamithra intends Ram to try out Shiva's bow.

I could feel my cheek burning again.

On Aliens

I was just thinking- there is a very high probability that life exists somewhere out there in the universe, a good probability that it flourishes, a fair enough probability that they are at least as advanced as us, a decent probability that they are better than us technologically. Then why is it that we have not been contacted? I'll tell you why- they are hiding from us. They have to. Humans are known aggressors & conquerors. What do you think would have happened if we had discovered that Mars was inhabitable? We would have packed our bags and gone off to settle there. What would have happened if there was intelligent life there? We would have conquered and captured the poor guys and made them into lab-rats and slaves or worse. Think about it people - what happened when humans discovered America? If we can mete out that sort of a treatment to our fellow-humans, what would we do to an alien race?

All the horrible aliens we see in science fiction, are not really aliens. It's us. We are afraid that a technologically superior society would conquer us because that's what we would do to a less advanced society. We are the monsters, not them. It's time we thought about who we are, who we're meant to be, and what we've become. God's image! Yeah right!!!!

Dear Shibo

Water-melon in the mess today. Missed you like hell, Shibo. Loved the way you ate them. None of the others could manage it, and you were neater than any of us who could eat them(me, B., Ma, Appa). Hope you are getting loads of water-melon and squirrels where you are.

luv ya lots

PS.: I want to upload a pic of you here. Let's see. :)

Disclaimer

OK. Now That was Fun. I don't really believe in all these quizzes, for the simple reason that there are way too many people and too few categories. And if all people only belonged to the personality types defined by those categories, I would have scores of clones running about. For example, I found that this Blogthing has only 31 categories of people defined. So people born on 12 April and 12 January are supposed to have the same personalities. Well, I know two people born on these dates, and their personas are poles apart!

So if I don't believe in them, why did I take so many quizzes and why did I bother to put all of them up on my blog at all? Simply because I like what they say about me, and they say exactly what I like to hear about myself at this moment! The people who make these quizzes know that deep down, everyone is a narcissist. And so, every personality type description is highly generalized, but so glowing that you just wanna believe that it's true. Well it is, partly, but then we only remember those parts that we know are true or that we like!

So now that I've got that out of my system, found a perfectly logical reason for spending 1.5 hrs in taking 'personality' quizzes, pampered myself with a 'healthy' round of totally (un)deserved flattery(and enjoyed it thoroughly!), I think it's time I got back to studies. 3 totally killer exams coming up!!

Beware!!

You Are a Werewolf

You're unpredictable, moody, and downright freaky. You seem sweet and harmless, until you snap. Then you're a total monster. Very few people can predict if you're going to be Dr. Jekyll or Mr. Hyde. But for you, all your transformations seem perfectly natural. Your greatest power: Your ability to tap into nature Your greatest weakness: Lack of self control You play well with: Vampires

What Kind of Monster Are You?

I have gone totally crazy!!

Agreed :)

What Your Name Means

You are a seeker of knowledge, and you have learned many things in your life. You are also a keeper of knowledge - meaning you don't spill secrets or spread gossip. People sometimes think you're snobby or aloof, but you're just too deep in thought to pay attention to them. You are usually the best at everything ... you strive for perfection. You are confident, authoritative, and aggressive. You have the classic "Type A" personality. You are very intuitive and wise. You understand the world better than most people. You also have a very active imagination. You often get carried away with your thoughts. You are prone to a little paranoia and jealousy. You sometimes go overboard in interpreting signals. You tend to be pretty tightly wound. It's easy to get you excited... which can be a good or bad thing. You have a lot of enthusiasm, but it fades rather quickly. You don't stick with any one thing for very long. You have the drive to accomplish a lot in a short amount of time. Your biggest problem is making sure you finish the projects you start.

What's Your Name's Hidden Meaning?

hehe....I am lovin this!!

You Are Disturbingly Profound

You're contemplative, thoughtful, and very intense. Taking time to figure out the meaning of life is a priority for you. Because you're so introspective, you often react in ways that surprise people. No one can really understand how you are on the inside... and that disturbs them.

Are You Disturbingly Profound or Profoundly Disturbing?

And I think I am getting addicted. I have not published all the posts with these 'blogthings', yet, But I am saving them all the same. And I think people are right- I AM a nutcase. :) Hah! Like I care! :P

Black Dress

What Your Little Black Dress Says About You

You are sexy, outrageous, and daring. You love to push people's buttons. You are fearless and free spirited. You get people talking... and you don't care what they say about you. Your style is revealing, trendy, and flirty. You love to look good. If you were a shoe, you would be: Strappy sandals

The Little Black Dress Test

Nobody is gonna believe this of me!!!

Totally Nuts!!!

You Are a Cashew

You are laid back, friendly, and easy going. Compared to most people, you have a very mild temperament. You blend in well. You're often the last person to get noticed. But whenever you're gone, people seem to notice right away!

What Nut Are You?

Some people tell me I am a nut-case.....just trying to find out which one. Turns out that I am a cashew! :P Though I really don't know about the second and last points- 'mild temperament'?? Me? Of all people!! And how would I know if my absence is noticed if I am not around. :P

Aha.....only some of it is true :P

What Your Taste in Chocolate Says About You

You are sophisticated, modern, and high class. Your taste is refined, but you are not picky. You are often the first to try something new. You are friendly, witty, and likable. You charm is overwhelming. People are enchanted by you. You have a comeback for anything. Because of this, you seem flippant at times. You love being around people. Friendships are important to you. You feel lost when you're by yourself... so you tend to avoid being alone.

The Chocolate Oracle

The color of my Mind

Your Mind is Purple

Of all the mind types, yours is the most idealistic. You tend to think wild, amazing thoughts. Your dreams and fantasies are intense. Your thoughts are creative, inventive, and without boundaries. You tend to spend a lot of time thinking of fictional people and places - or a very different life for yourself.

What Color Is Your Mind?

hehe.....kuch zyada ho gaya! :P

Your Birthdate: ******** **

You are a cohesive force - able to bring many people together for a common cause. You tend to excel in work situations, but you also facilitate a lot of social gatherings too. Beyond being a good leader, you are good at inspiring others. You also keep your powerful emotions in check - you know when to emote and when to repress. Your strength: Emotional maturity beyond your years Your weakness: Wearing yourself down with too many responsibilities Your power color: Crimson red Your power symbol: Snowflake Your power month: September

What Does Your Birth Date Mean?

Update

Went to meet 'Guruji' today. He told us to "Go to hell!", and said that if we were made to stay out till 5 am once, it would be a lesson for us to abide by the 11 0'clock rule in the future. Hah, as if. he doesn't know what he's gotten himself into. Btw, notices for the 11 0'clock rule have come up in some guys' Halls too. If anything, this is only going to get more janta on the roads, starting tonight. I would have really pitied our Guruji if he hadn't been so rude to us today! :)

Latest Buzz from KGP

There's a new rule in my campus- girls, specifically those belonging to my Hall, can't go out after 11 pm; if they are out after 11, they can't come back in, and have to stay out till 5 am. Well, I should be fair, the original rule was meant for the entire campus, all Halls, boys' and girls' alike. But somehow the administration only chose to implement it in ours.

I am not surprised. It is so typically Kgpian that I am really not surprised. The hypocrisy in pretending that the rule is actually meant for all, and not just girls, and that it would soon be implemented in the guys' Halls too; the sheer insensitivity and irresponsibility in forcing a girl to stay out till 5 am, even if she is 15 minutes late in coming back; cutting off the girls from the late-night facilities in the campus(read the Reading Room & the Night Canteen), not caring whether she has an assignment to submit for which her entire group,which might (and will) include guys, needs to sit down and discuss; all this is all so typically Kgpian. I don't even expect them to understand that she might just want to take a walk with her friends. A girl roaming around at night!! I can only imagine what their ultra-conservative minds would think of a girl like her, a girl like me.

I like my freedom. I am a 22-year old adult, and I like to be the one who takes my life's decisions, I like to be the one who decides whether it is good for me to venture out at this time of the night or not. More than anything, I like to think that I live in a free country which guarantees equality to all. Really, if this rule were implemented on everyone, guys and girls both, then I probably would not have had such difficulty in accepting it.

So the only alternative left for me is to break this rule, 'cos rules can only bind us so long as we let them. Once we learn to just stop caring for them, no matter what the consequences, we can easily take that walk after 11 pm.

:)

ज़िंदगी में इतनी हँसी भर लें
कि गर आंसू आयें भी
तो आखों के कोने से निंकलें
और हँसी कि सिल्वटों में छूप जायें :)

I Hate Being a Girl!

Sometimes I really hate being a girl. Today is one of those times. So please bear with me on this one; else you are always free to move away to another page. I won't know, and I won't mind. So, as I was saying, I hate being a girl. Not always, but yes, right now I do. I know there are many nice things about being a girl, so you don't have to remind me of those, even if you care enough to. Right now I am frustrated with the restrictions(spoken and unspoken) imposed on me simply because I am a girl. I am a free bird, and I hate having my sky trimmed to suit the norms of the society. But you know, even that wouldn't hurt so much if I didn't see those very freedoms taken by guys right before my eyes, and no one speaking a word in protest.

They give a number of reasons for this discrimination, but can they deny that this is, in fact, discrimination? They tell me I am vulnerable, and that they are just protecting me by caging me in. But who caused me to be vulnerable? Those very guys who are being allowed to roam about free on the streets. Why should I cover my head? Ask the guys to cover their eyes and faces. Why should I have to stay indoors after dark? Tell men to stay at home. They are the aggressors, not I. Morals? Don't teach me morals. I don't walk the streets ogling at every member of the opposite sex I find. Teach men to think of women with respect too, instead of stuffing our head with all that nonsense.

I want my freedom. And I am willing to take the risks that come with it. My vulnerability is my headache, and it should be up to me to decide what to do and what not to do. I might get into serious trouble someday, or I might not, but that's a risk I am willing to take; and if someday I have to pay the price for it, I will, but have no regrets.

On Akbar

Recently I saw the movie, Jodha Akbar, and I was struck by the character of Akbar. Well, of course, Hrithik has done a good job, but even without it, I think Akbar must have been a magnificent personality. The way he thought, the way he felt, the way he decided, the way he implemented; he must have been one great ruler. I was watching this movie, and suddenly I was struck- this is the kind of leader I want for my people. I want an Akbar to lead my people, my country to the greatness they deserve.

Why Akbar? No specific reason, except that I was watching a movie about his life and love. But then, even after I thought about it, I didn't want to substitute him for anyone else. True, India has always produced great rulers, but still I think Akbar is the most relevant for the modern world( I am not considering our freedom fighters, Gandhi and Co. I think I'll let them enjoy a very well-deserved break! ). To prove my point, I have two options- either I speak about what qualities Akbar had, or I talk about what qualities I want in my ideal leader. Both should serve my purpose, as I have already stated that my leader should be like Akbar. I think I'll go for the second option. It's safer, and I might come upon some additional 'properties' of the ideal leader in the thought process(Forgive me, I am still not out of the exam mode). :)

So, what sort of a leader do my people need? They need a leader who would truly understand them-their joys, sorrows, hopes, fears and dreams. I know this statement is a bit cliched, but it is true. Knowing the people inside-out, upside-down is the biggest strength of any leader, though I am not sure how many of the so-called leaders of Indian politics have that capability today. But this knowledge is not enough. It has to be coupled with the best intentions and a good sense of right and wrong, otherwise we might have another Hitler. My people need a leader who would know them, but not use that knowledge against them to suppress them, or to divide them, or create hatred in their hearts. This is important, India having such a diverse culture, they need a leader who would want to lead them by uniting them, not by dividing them and playing chess with their feelings and well-being; someone who would have the guts to stand up for what he/she believes in, against everyone, even against his/her own supporters; someone who would be willing to risk everything he/she has achieved in life, all the dreams for the future, for what he/she believes to be right; someone who would not play vote-bank politics but would want to win elections on the basis of the genuine love and faith of the people; someone who would never, ever let that faith down; someone who would have enough experience working for the betterment of the people, from before he/she joins politics and who would continue working for the people even after he/she attains the 'kursi'; someone who would make promises only after sufficient thought, and then would make sure that he/she delivered them; finally, someone who would love India and the Indian people, my people, with all his/her heart.

I think I have summed about all I want in a leader of Future India. If I think of some more points, I'll add them as comments. If you(I am assuming that people actually read this blog! ) desire anything else, please feel free to comment.

Have a good day :)

:|

Have you ever felt like there are so many thoughts whirling in your mind that it's hard to keep track what leads where? Like a fan rotating so fast that you can't see the blades, and yet staying where it is, stuck in one place.

On Afterlife

I believe in afterlife. Part of the reason is that I hope to find all the friends, family I lose in this life, in the next. It kinda dulls the pain, knowing that, or believing that, they are all up there somewhere watching over me, and that even if I die I have something to look forward to. And that's my second reason, to have something to look forward to. The third is that I don't wanna believe that once my eyes close, all my memories, all my feelings are gonna be deleted. The fourth is that, because I believe in afterlife, death doesn't scare me so much. I sometimes deliberately put myself into situations where I might get into terrible trouble, simply because I don't believe it will all end.

But many times this belief works against me. Like if I didn't believe in afterlife, I'd have been much more enthusiastic about this one. I'd have fulfilled all my crazy dreams as soon as possible, just in case it were all to end tomorrow. And, of course, when I am frustrated, the thought of death does not guarantee me the oblivion that I need. I guess it's partly keeping me alive. Don't get psyched, I am just another nut-case in front of a keyboard. :)

Come to think of it, what if it does end tomorrow? Would I regret having to die, in my last moments? If I think of the life I have lived and the things I have done, I probably won't. I have had a good life. But what if I think of all things I haven't done? Would I regret leaving then?

Naah.....I guess I'll just take bh. and S. n all for a trip around the country, though I wonder if they have ice-skating rinks up there!

The Sun

Imagine if someday, the Sun refused to wake up in the morning, saying that it was too cold! Point being, we keep on saying that the world around us is bad, but we don't do anything about it. What we don't realize is that we, and only we, have the power to make a change. We are the Sun. And if the Sun doesn't wake up in the morning, the whole world stays cold.

On Love

Well, the title must have told you everything-this post is going to be about love. I guess what I am going to write is also pretty much predictable, after all, it is the most worn-out topic in the world! People have written about the passion, the depth, the madness, the pain, the suffering, the sacrifice, the ecstasy and the sheer hope of love. We talk of the laughs we have laughed, and the tears we have cried; of first love, and how it feels like it will last forever, and for a lucky few, actually does; of love lost, and love found; of love hiding behind shy eyes, afraid to speak out; of love denying itself the relief of expression, or of love proclaiming itself from the rooftops; of love that gives, that cares, and brings us up into adulthood; of love that watches over us, always there when we need it, and always trying not to be interfering. Yes, we all have loved, we all have cried, and we all have spoken about love, or written about it, at some point in our lives.

I have loved many times and lost a few too. Today I am going to write about one of my loves(!), let's call her my Sweetheart.

I met her when she was only a month old, but already so active and cute that we, I and my father, immediately decided to take her in. Initially her name was R., but we named her S. when we brought her home. She was the prettiest thing I ever saw, and she was totally dependent on us for her needs. We used to play with her, take her repeatedly in our laps to cuddle her, and she used to look at us with those beautiful eyes of hers, and take part in our fun. I think her eyes were the most beautiful thing about her. They were a dark brown and very expressive. It was almost as if everything she wanted to say, but couldn't, was reflected in her eyes. Yes, she could not speak, but she made up for it in n number of different ways. We knew when she was sad, when she was excited, or when she was angry.

As she grew up, we got closer to each other. She had the same sun-sign as I, and I like to believe that we had a special bonding, a kind of psychic connection, because of that too. I understood her, but more importantly, she understood me. She was very young then, and I didn't expect her to comprehend what feelings I was going through at that point in my life. She might not have, but she did perceive the pain inside me, and she consoled me in her own sweet way.

Those who have been blessed with such sweet creations of God must probably have already understood who I am talking about. For those who haven't- I am talking of my sweetheart, my S. who belonged to dog-kind. She was my love, my baby, my little kid. I brought her up, but in a way, she brought me up too, she made me grow up somewhat. When she was older, I helped deliver her kids, helped her take care of them. She trusted us, and she easily let us touch her new-borns, as if that was the most natural thing to do. She knew when I was sad, or when I was angry with her, and she would come to me and mollify me. It was amazing to see her do it. It was almost as if she could read my mind and speak to me with her eyes.

Dogs have a very short life. My sweetheart left me some time ago. I like to think that she's still around somewhere, hunting some squirrel. I like to think that perhaps one day I will meet her again. I can almost imagine how she'd come to me, with that typical wagging of her tail that made her look like she was dancing. I like to think how I'll gather her up in my arms like a sheep and hug her, and how I would see her love in her beautiful, brown eyes again.

Vande Mataram!!

A. R. Rahman got it right. Ma Tujhe Salaam.Thai Mannai Vanakkam.Vande Mataram. Vande Mataram. Vande Mataram. Vande Mataram. So beautiful, so perfect. Two words. Vande Mataram. I salute you, my Mother! Vande Mataram! My beautiful Mother. My loving Mother. Vande Mataram. Two words that say so much. You get goosebumps just hearing those two words. Two words that have traveled so far. Two words that literally guided a whole nation's freedom movement. Vande Mataram. Mother, I salute you. What would we not do for these two words? For our Mother? These words have the power to draw people out of their homes and into the streets. The power to unite the people. The power to make them fight as one nation, one people. The power to make them take all the beating, all the torture, and still stand firm. The power to make grown-up men cry like babies. The power to enable even a small child(Azad) take all the whipping, and not let out a sigh. The power to make young people, barely in their twenties, happily embrace the hangman's noose. What immense power!

I salute you, Mother! Beautiful Mother! My Mother! There can be no words to say what I want to say. But you know what I would say, if I could, right? I love you so, so much Mother! I live for you. Someday, I hope to die for you. Will you let me, my sweet, sweet Mother?

:(

Ok, I am not in a very good mood right now and I apologize to whoever happens to read this post. Actually I was wondering, if I were to disappear today, if I were just erased from existence, would anyone miss me? Would anyone even notice that I am gone? Or would I remain the same invisible person that I am now?

The Story of a Princess-3

My father did apologize that day. He said that he should not have allowed the priest to talk to me the way he did. He said it was just because he was too amazed to see me being able to use the (supposedly)divine instrument. He also said that he thought it was time I got married. And then he went away.

Over the next few days I came to know that he was really serious in his intention to marry me off. He even kept a competition-an archery competition. The suitor would have to string Lord Shiva's bow. That's it. Sure, send me off with the first fool who comes your way!

However, no fool really did. I sat in the upper balcony and watched them all fail, one by one. I didn't understand why. If a fifteen-year-old girl can string that instrument, surely these famous warriors should have been able to do it long ago.

"They can't do it. Not without your consent." My Spirit was at it again.

I said," And why should my consent be so important?"

S: Because you are the only one who knows how to do it.

I: Oh, please. Everyone knows how to string a bow.

S: Not this one.

I: And how do I know?

S: I showed you. In your dream.

I remembered. Slowly, it all started coming back. Yes, I believe I did know the secret all along.

I: So, what am I supposed to do now?

S: Have fun, of course.

I: Am I not supposed to ever get married?

Suddenly she started laughing, and laughing, and laughing. She said," Up till now you were afraid that you would have to get married. And now you are afraid that you will not be able to get married."

I hadn't known how deeply I could blush, up until that day. When she'd had her laugh, she said," You can choose to share the secret with whomever you wish to marry. He will then be able to string the bow."

Hmmm. That sounded good. That sounded really, really good.

The Story of a Princess-2

I opened my eyes and found myself surrounded by a thousand balls of fire. They did not feel warm though. Neither were they too bright, as I would have expected them to be. They were just there, bobbing up and down, as if in a dream. I reached out to touch one of them, to see if they would burn me, but I could not see my hands. All I saw was a very brilliant light beam extending towards them. I looked down at myself and saw no body, just the same light. But it was not just light either. It was as if all the brilliance in the world had been condensed together in this nearly solid, swirling, palpable mass of light.

I woke up with a start. What was this dream I was having? Light. Bright light. I looked at my hands. Intact. I touched my face. It was wet. Had I been crying? Ah yes, now I remember. It was the bow I had seen a few days ago in another dream. I saw it again that evening in the palace temple. My father had taken me there for a special prayer. Apparently, I had come of age. I wondered what that meant. Anyways, we knelt down in front of the beautiful bow. I was very excited since I thought I would be getting advanced archery lessons with this bow. So while my father was called away by the priest to discuss some temple issue, I decided to try out the bow.

It was warm when I picked it up, as if happy to meet me. I strung it and gave the string a twang. Oh. how I loved that sound! Archery was my favorite sport and this bow felt like a twin brother. I looked around for some arrows but there were none. Meanwhile the sound of the bow had brought the high priest and my father back to the temple sanctuary. I turned around and found them looking at me dumbfounded, almost horrified. Then, the priest broke out," Hey Shiva! How dare you touch the sacred bow of Lord Shiva?! And prancing around with it too. As if it was a plaything! Bows, Lord Shiva's Bow at that, are not for girls to play with. Do you understand, little girl?" I was almost in tears by then. I thought my father would tell him to shut up, but he just stared at me, like I had committed a sin. Then with a leaden voice, he said," Put away the bow, Sita." I came up to him and offered it to him. But he wouldn't take it, wouldn't even look at me. He just said, "Put it where you took it from." I put the bow on its altar and ran out of the temple and into my room, flung myself on my bed and broke down. Stupid, stupid bow.

I fell asleep crying and that was when I had that other dream, about those suns, for now I knew what they were. Why can't I have normal dreams like normal girls, I thought. Why can't I dream about handsome princes sweeping me off my feet onto their beautiful, strong stallions? Why do I have to dream about the beginning of time and crap like that? As if I am a God!

Aren't you? Someone asked from within me.

Don't give me that crap. I am a girl and I know my place. God indeed! I shot back.

My resident Spirit, for this was she, said," We'll talk when you have calmed down"

I: I don't wanna talk to you.

Spirit: Yes you do. About the bow, and the light.

I: Ok, what were they?

S: The bow once belonged to Lord Shiva. He used it to fight in a very important war against a demon.

I: He was a God. Why did He have to fight?

S: It was because He fought that He came to be God.

I: You mean, He was not divine? Did He not have special powers, like His third eye?

S: Tell me, who is not divine?

I: You told me once that everyone is, but how can that be?

S: Why not?

I: Ok, how about those monsters in the jungle who eat people up, chew up their flesh and scatter their bones among the trees?

S: They don't know who they are. Just like animals. Do you think if they knew their true self, they would do all this?

I: No, I suppose not. If once you start believing that you are good, you actually become good. If you believe you are bad, you become bad.

S: Yes.

I: But even if one believes himself to be God, he can't become one, right? Otherwise all those kings with their pumped up egos would declare themselves gods immediately.

S: No. That status you have to earn.

I: Earn? What do you mean? No one can earn a God status. You are either a God or you are not.

S: Might I make a correction? Not a God. The God.

I: You mean there's only one?

S: Yes. Same spirit. Different forms. Seems like It does not want to stay away from its creation. So comes down here every few hundred years in the form of a being.

I: Like Shiva?

S: Yes.

I: But you said that he had to earn the right to godhood?

S: Yes. If he had not fought for what is right, the Spirit would have left him.

I: This is crazy!!

S: Well, who do you think I am?

I: You are a figment of my imagination.

S(laughing): I might be, and I might not be. Do you really want to risk it?

I: Maybe not. But tell me, suppose you are The Spirit, what am I supposed to do with you?

S: You could start with believing in yourself, for one. Really, that 'girl' crap you keep saying these days is getting onto my nerves!

I: You have those?!

S: I am serious.

I: Sorry. But that fat teacher keeps telling me, "keep quiet, girls shouldn't chatter so much", or, "shouldn't talk in front of men..."

S: Are you going to believe what he tells you or what I tell you?

I: Fine. I got the point. So what you just said means that I am supposed to be God?

S: No. It only means that you are supposed to fight.

I: Against what?

S: You'll know soon.

I: Ok.(with mock sarcasm) Is there anything else I can do for you?

S: Yes, you can wake up. Your father has come to apologize.

:)

Is it really this simple? One kind word and my whole day becomes happy. A little bit more and I am close to tears-happy tears. Is life really so simple? :) I think it is. I am happy, very, very happy.

Do You Believe?

Do you believe in fairies? I do. I believe in fairies, in magic, in miracles. I believe that Harry Potter and other kids' stories may have more truth in them than seems at first sight. I believe in angels, and ghosts, but I think that ghosts may not really be bad spirits. I think that they are just people who stayed behind, maybe to wait for the ones they loved, or maybe to just have fun. I believe in there being a Good Place somewhere beyond the clouds where people go when they need a rest. I believe that plants can feel and that animals can talk. I believe that some animals, like dogs and dolphins, are even more intelligent than people. I mean, have you ever known a dog that was not loyal or a dolphin who did not know how to have fun? It is only humans who sometimes turn out that way. Have you never wondered why it is that animals can understand what we say but we can never understand what they say? C'mon, an animal may be trained, but a human? Never!

Nature has left us so many clues as to its true nature, but we never see them. We explain them away with our laws of physics. There is so much magic and wonder hidden under every stone, behind every crevice. But we are enlightened people. We turn away from it. The sky is blue because of refraction. The mermaids that ancient sailors saw were probably porpoises. Pictures of fairies? Probably paper cut-outs. It's almost as if we don't want to believe. :(

??

Y'know, I feel that I have been angry too long. I've been angry with the condition that the country is in, I've been angry with the selfishness and heartlessness and the utter stupidity(here I go again!) of my country-people. I've been frustrated with the sheer indifference of the society. I've been stumped at the ease with which people fall for the tricks of the politicians. But now I've begun to think, what exactly have I done to change the situation? Write a few blogs, that's it. How have I helped in the situation? Most of the people who have read what I write are intelligent enough to discern right from wrong. So, have I really helped?