They came and failed, all those great, strong warriors. There was hardly any in the whole of Aryavart who didn't try. They would all come twirling their moustaches, bragging of their bravery and strength, and leave telling my father of the impossibility of the task. And I would have to sit through all of this in the upper balcony on my father's orders and also of the Spirit's. "Otherwise how would you know if the person is suited for you or not?", the Spirit would say. I didn't even know what kind of a person was 'suited' for me. All I did know was that none of those princes were. They were loud, proud insolent braggarts who barely showed respect to my father. I shuddered to think how they must treat their subjects.
The Spirit, as per her habit, suggested a way to find out. So I found myself dressed like a servant, going round the palace and the gardens after my suitors. I even went outside the palace gates on some occasions. What I saw, what I heard, changed my life forever.
Most of them did not give a damn about their sub-ordinates. Sometimes, they were only rude. At other times, they would have their servants beaten up for minor mistakes, or misbehave with the female servants. The best of them were neutral towards them, neither kind nor cruel. Since I was dressed as a servant, I myself came too close to danger sometimes. The only thing that saved me was that I was dressed as a servant of my own kingdom, and so they did not have any authority over me.
I remember an incident when one of my own servants came to deliver a message from the king, my father, to one of my suitors. He was in the garden at the time and I hid behind a tree, for fear of being identified. When the girl turned around to leave, the guy caught her hand. The poor girl was petrified, and so was I. What should I do? If I tried to help her, I would be exposed. It would mean embarrassment for my father and the royal house. But if I didn't, would I ever be able to forgive myself? I covered my face and stepped out of the shadows. The prince was so amazed by my sudden appearance that he forgot to hold on tight to the girl's hand and she ran away. I then bowed low and told him that the king wanted to see him immediately. That saved both of us, though my father did ask me later if I knew a servant-girl who was dressed in orange and who covered her face all the time. Apparently, she had played a joke on our guest who was not very amused.
Dressed as a servant of my own palace, I chatted with the servant-girls who came from other kingdoms. I got to know their customs and traditions. Some were the same as my own, and some were entirely different. I sometimes coaxed them to talk about their masters, and they would tell me tales that would chill my heart or make me double up with laughter. It would always become impossible for me to picture that man as my husband after any such conversation.
While digging up the pasts of my suitors, I also learnt about my own kingdom. I learnt about the problems and difficulties faced by my people and understood how the laws of the land affected their lives. I had known Nyay from the point of view of the King. Now I came to know of it from that of the people. I also understood the responsibility of the King to protect his people. This I learned from a very interesting conversation with a girl whose sister was a servant in the royal house of Ayodhya. I'll call her Lata.
Lata: She is an amazing woman. My sister told me about her.
I: Who?
L.: Sumitra. The second wife of the king Dashrath of Ayodhya.
I: What about her?
L.: Imagine the fire of a thousand suns. That's what she is.
I: You mean she's very beautiful?
L.: She is. But she's fire.
I: Don't be so cryptic. Explain in detail.
L.: Well, apparently a sage came to Dashrath's court to ask for his son Ram, in order to get rid of some terrible Rakshasas in the forest where he lives.
I: What are Rakshasas?
L.: I don't really know. Never seen one myself. But from what I've heard, they are terrible creatures who eat the flesh of humans. They have no pity, no remorse. Wherever they go, dead and mutilated bodies pile up as high as the sky. Obviously, Dashrath was very reluctant to send his most beloved son out on a mission like that. When Sumitra heard, she went to him, ablaze with indignition. She not only got him to send Ram with the sage, but also ordered her own son Lakshman to accompany his brother, saying that it is the duty of the kings to protect their people. Lakshman must have been, what, 15 years old at the time? And she didn't flinch, not for a second. I daresay, if Ram and Lakshman had not been allowed to go, she would have taken up bow and arrow herself and gone off.
I: So did Ram and Lakshman succeed in their task?
L.: Well, both the princes were very brave.....
I: You mean they died?
L.: No. I mean that they might be very brave, but they are only boys, and the rakshasas are very strong.
I: So? (Somehow this conversation was really scaring me)
L.: So I don't really know the end of the story, nor can I predict it. I've heard snatches here and there, about them fighting a couple of rakshasas, but that's it. If you want to know the whole story, just wait four more days.
I: Why? Is your sister coming to Mithila?
L.: No. But the princes are.
Later
I: 'fire of a thousand suns', huh?
Spirit: I am with everyone. Some listen to me more than others. Like Sumitra.
I: And what exactly are these rakshasas?
S.: Humans, like you, but so corrupted by evil that they barely resemble who they're supposed to be.
I: Do they really eat human flesh?
S.: Some do. They believe that it makes them stronger. Otherwise, they just slaughter entire villages for fun. The forest-folk are terrified of them. That's why the sage Vishwamithra went to Dashrath for help.
I: So, did the princes succeed?
S.(smiling): Why don't you wait four days? I think Vishwamithra intends Ram to try out Shiva's bow.
I could feel my cheek burning again.
The Spirit, as per her habit, suggested a way to find out. So I found myself dressed like a servant, going round the palace and the gardens after my suitors. I even went outside the palace gates on some occasions. What I saw, what I heard, changed my life forever.
Most of them did not give a damn about their sub-ordinates. Sometimes, they were only rude. At other times, they would have their servants beaten up for minor mistakes, or misbehave with the female servants. The best of them were neutral towards them, neither kind nor cruel. Since I was dressed as a servant, I myself came too close to danger sometimes. The only thing that saved me was that I was dressed as a servant of my own kingdom, and so they did not have any authority over me.
I remember an incident when one of my own servants came to deliver a message from the king, my father, to one of my suitors. He was in the garden at the time and I hid behind a tree, for fear of being identified. When the girl turned around to leave, the guy caught her hand. The poor girl was petrified, and so was I. What should I do? If I tried to help her, I would be exposed. It would mean embarrassment for my father and the royal house. But if I didn't, would I ever be able to forgive myself? I covered my face and stepped out of the shadows. The prince was so amazed by my sudden appearance that he forgot to hold on tight to the girl's hand and she ran away. I then bowed low and told him that the king wanted to see him immediately. That saved both of us, though my father did ask me later if I knew a servant-girl who was dressed in orange and who covered her face all the time. Apparently, she had played a joke on our guest who was not very amused.
Dressed as a servant of my own palace, I chatted with the servant-girls who came from other kingdoms. I got to know their customs and traditions. Some were the same as my own, and some were entirely different. I sometimes coaxed them to talk about their masters, and they would tell me tales that would chill my heart or make me double up with laughter. It would always become impossible for me to picture that man as my husband after any such conversation.
While digging up the pasts of my suitors, I also learnt about my own kingdom. I learnt about the problems and difficulties faced by my people and understood how the laws of the land affected their lives. I had known Nyay from the point of view of the King. Now I came to know of it from that of the people. I also understood the responsibility of the King to protect his people. This I learned from a very interesting conversation with a girl whose sister was a servant in the royal house of Ayodhya. I'll call her Lata.
Lata: She is an amazing woman. My sister told me about her.
I: Who?
L.: Sumitra. The second wife of the king Dashrath of Ayodhya.
I: What about her?
L.: Imagine the fire of a thousand suns. That's what she is.
I: You mean she's very beautiful?
L.: She is. But she's fire.
I: Don't be so cryptic. Explain in detail.
L.: Well, apparently a sage came to Dashrath's court to ask for his son Ram, in order to get rid of some terrible Rakshasas in the forest where he lives.
I: What are Rakshasas?
L.: I don't really know. Never seen one myself. But from what I've heard, they are terrible creatures who eat the flesh of humans. They have no pity, no remorse. Wherever they go, dead and mutilated bodies pile up as high as the sky. Obviously, Dashrath was very reluctant to send his most beloved son out on a mission like that. When Sumitra heard, she went to him, ablaze with indignition. She not only got him to send Ram with the sage, but also ordered her own son Lakshman to accompany his brother, saying that it is the duty of the kings to protect their people. Lakshman must have been, what, 15 years old at the time? And she didn't flinch, not for a second. I daresay, if Ram and Lakshman had not been allowed to go, she would have taken up bow and arrow herself and gone off.
I: So did Ram and Lakshman succeed in their task?
L.: Well, both the princes were very brave.....
I: You mean they died?
L.: No. I mean that they might be very brave, but they are only boys, and the rakshasas are very strong.
I: So? (Somehow this conversation was really scaring me)
L.: So I don't really know the end of the story, nor can I predict it. I've heard snatches here and there, about them fighting a couple of rakshasas, but that's it. If you want to know the whole story, just wait four more days.
I: Why? Is your sister coming to Mithila?
L.: No. But the princes are.
Later
I: 'fire of a thousand suns', huh?
Spirit: I am with everyone. Some listen to me more than others. Like Sumitra.
I: And what exactly are these rakshasas?
S.: Humans, like you, but so corrupted by evil that they barely resemble who they're supposed to be.
I: Do they really eat human flesh?
S.: Some do. They believe that it makes them stronger. Otherwise, they just slaughter entire villages for fun. The forest-folk are terrified of them. That's why the sage Vishwamithra went to Dashrath for help.
I: So, did the princes succeed?
S.(smiling): Why don't you wait four days? I think Vishwamithra intends Ram to try out Shiva's bow.
I could feel my cheek burning again.
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