:(

Ok, I am not in a very good mood right now and I apologize to whoever happens to read this post. Actually I was wondering, if I were to disappear today, if I were just erased from existence, would anyone miss me? Would anyone even notice that I am gone? Or would I remain the same invisible person that I am now?

The Story of a Princess-3

My father did apologize that day. He said that he should not have allowed the priest to talk to me the way he did. He said it was just because he was too amazed to see me being able to use the (supposedly)divine instrument. He also said that he thought it was time I got married. And then he went away.

Over the next few days I came to know that he was really serious in his intention to marry me off. He even kept a competition-an archery competition. The suitor would have to string Lord Shiva's bow. That's it. Sure, send me off with the first fool who comes your way!

However, no fool really did. I sat in the upper balcony and watched them all fail, one by one. I didn't understand why. If a fifteen-year-old girl can string that instrument, surely these famous warriors should have been able to do it long ago.

"They can't do it. Not without your consent." My Spirit was at it again.

I said," And why should my consent be so important?"

S: Because you are the only one who knows how to do it.

I: Oh, please. Everyone knows how to string a bow.

S: Not this one.

I: And how do I know?

S: I showed you. In your dream.

I remembered. Slowly, it all started coming back. Yes, I believe I did know the secret all along.

I: So, what am I supposed to do now?

S: Have fun, of course.

I: Am I not supposed to ever get married?

Suddenly she started laughing, and laughing, and laughing. She said," Up till now you were afraid that you would have to get married. And now you are afraid that you will not be able to get married."

I hadn't known how deeply I could blush, up until that day. When she'd had her laugh, she said," You can choose to share the secret with whomever you wish to marry. He will then be able to string the bow."

Hmmm. That sounded good. That sounded really, really good.

The Story of a Princess-2

I opened my eyes and found myself surrounded by a thousand balls of fire. They did not feel warm though. Neither were they too bright, as I would have expected them to be. They were just there, bobbing up and down, as if in a dream. I reached out to touch one of them, to see if they would burn me, but I could not see my hands. All I saw was a very brilliant light beam extending towards them. I looked down at myself and saw no body, just the same light. But it was not just light either. It was as if all the brilliance in the world had been condensed together in this nearly solid, swirling, palpable mass of light.

I woke up with a start. What was this dream I was having? Light. Bright light. I looked at my hands. Intact. I touched my face. It was wet. Had I been crying? Ah yes, now I remember. It was the bow I had seen a few days ago in another dream. I saw it again that evening in the palace temple. My father had taken me there for a special prayer. Apparently, I had come of age. I wondered what that meant. Anyways, we knelt down in front of the beautiful bow. I was very excited since I thought I would be getting advanced archery lessons with this bow. So while my father was called away by the priest to discuss some temple issue, I decided to try out the bow.

It was warm when I picked it up, as if happy to meet me. I strung it and gave the string a twang. Oh. how I loved that sound! Archery was my favorite sport and this bow felt like a twin brother. I looked around for some arrows but there were none. Meanwhile the sound of the bow had brought the high priest and my father back to the temple sanctuary. I turned around and found them looking at me dumbfounded, almost horrified. Then, the priest broke out," Hey Shiva! How dare you touch the sacred bow of Lord Shiva?! And prancing around with it too. As if it was a plaything! Bows, Lord Shiva's Bow at that, are not for girls to play with. Do you understand, little girl?" I was almost in tears by then. I thought my father would tell him to shut up, but he just stared at me, like I had committed a sin. Then with a leaden voice, he said," Put away the bow, Sita." I came up to him and offered it to him. But he wouldn't take it, wouldn't even look at me. He just said, "Put it where you took it from." I put the bow on its altar and ran out of the temple and into my room, flung myself on my bed and broke down. Stupid, stupid bow.

I fell asleep crying and that was when I had that other dream, about those suns, for now I knew what they were. Why can't I have normal dreams like normal girls, I thought. Why can't I dream about handsome princes sweeping me off my feet onto their beautiful, strong stallions? Why do I have to dream about the beginning of time and crap like that? As if I am a God!

Aren't you? Someone asked from within me.

Don't give me that crap. I am a girl and I know my place. God indeed! I shot back.

My resident Spirit, for this was she, said," We'll talk when you have calmed down"

I: I don't wanna talk to you.

Spirit: Yes you do. About the bow, and the light.

I: Ok, what were they?

S: The bow once belonged to Lord Shiva. He used it to fight in a very important war against a demon.

I: He was a God. Why did He have to fight?

S: It was because He fought that He came to be God.

I: You mean, He was not divine? Did He not have special powers, like His third eye?

S: Tell me, who is not divine?

I: You told me once that everyone is, but how can that be?

S: Why not?

I: Ok, how about those monsters in the jungle who eat people up, chew up their flesh and scatter their bones among the trees?

S: They don't know who they are. Just like animals. Do you think if they knew their true self, they would do all this?

I: No, I suppose not. If once you start believing that you are good, you actually become good. If you believe you are bad, you become bad.

S: Yes.

I: But even if one believes himself to be God, he can't become one, right? Otherwise all those kings with their pumped up egos would declare themselves gods immediately.

S: No. That status you have to earn.

I: Earn? What do you mean? No one can earn a God status. You are either a God or you are not.

S: Might I make a correction? Not a God. The God.

I: You mean there's only one?

S: Yes. Same spirit. Different forms. Seems like It does not want to stay away from its creation. So comes down here every few hundred years in the form of a being.

I: Like Shiva?

S: Yes.

I: But you said that he had to earn the right to godhood?

S: Yes. If he had not fought for what is right, the Spirit would have left him.

I: This is crazy!!

S: Well, who do you think I am?

I: You are a figment of my imagination.

S(laughing): I might be, and I might not be. Do you really want to risk it?

I: Maybe not. But tell me, suppose you are The Spirit, what am I supposed to do with you?

S: You could start with believing in yourself, for one. Really, that 'girl' crap you keep saying these days is getting onto my nerves!

I: You have those?!

S: I am serious.

I: Sorry. But that fat teacher keeps telling me, "keep quiet, girls shouldn't chatter so much", or, "shouldn't talk in front of men..."

S: Are you going to believe what he tells you or what I tell you?

I: Fine. I got the point. So what you just said means that I am supposed to be God?

S: No. It only means that you are supposed to fight.

I: Against what?

S: You'll know soon.

I: Ok.(with mock sarcasm) Is there anything else I can do for you?

S: Yes, you can wake up. Your father has come to apologize.

:)

Is it really this simple? One kind word and my whole day becomes happy. A little bit more and I am close to tears-happy tears. Is life really so simple? :) I think it is. I am happy, very, very happy.

Do You Believe?

Do you believe in fairies? I do. I believe in fairies, in magic, in miracles. I believe that Harry Potter and other kids' stories may have more truth in them than seems at first sight. I believe in angels, and ghosts, but I think that ghosts may not really be bad spirits. I think that they are just people who stayed behind, maybe to wait for the ones they loved, or maybe to just have fun. I believe in there being a Good Place somewhere beyond the clouds where people go when they need a rest. I believe that plants can feel and that animals can talk. I believe that some animals, like dogs and dolphins, are even more intelligent than people. I mean, have you ever known a dog that was not loyal or a dolphin who did not know how to have fun? It is only humans who sometimes turn out that way. Have you never wondered why it is that animals can understand what we say but we can never understand what they say? C'mon, an animal may be trained, but a human? Never!

Nature has left us so many clues as to its true nature, but we never see them. We explain them away with our laws of physics. There is so much magic and wonder hidden under every stone, behind every crevice. But we are enlightened people. We turn away from it. The sky is blue because of refraction. The mermaids that ancient sailors saw were probably porpoises. Pictures of fairies? Probably paper cut-outs. It's almost as if we don't want to believe. :(

??

Y'know, I feel that I have been angry too long. I've been angry with the condition that the country is in, I've been angry with the selfishness and heartlessness and the utter stupidity(here I go again!) of my country-people. I've been frustrated with the sheer indifference of the society. I've been stumped at the ease with which people fall for the tricks of the politicians. But now I've begun to think, what exactly have I done to change the situation? Write a few blogs, that's it. How have I helped in the situation? Most of the people who have read what I write are intelligent enough to discern right from wrong. So, have I really helped?