The Story of a Princess-2

I opened my eyes and found myself surrounded by a thousand balls of fire. They did not feel warm though. Neither were they too bright, as I would have expected them to be. They were just there, bobbing up and down, as if in a dream. I reached out to touch one of them, to see if they would burn me, but I could not see my hands. All I saw was a very brilliant light beam extending towards them. I looked down at myself and saw no body, just the same light. But it was not just light either. It was as if all the brilliance in the world had been condensed together in this nearly solid, swirling, palpable mass of light.

I woke up with a start. What was this dream I was having? Light. Bright light. I looked at my hands. Intact. I touched my face. It was wet. Had I been crying? Ah yes, now I remember. It was the bow I had seen a few days ago in another dream. I saw it again that evening in the palace temple. My father had taken me there for a special prayer. Apparently, I had come of age. I wondered what that meant. Anyways, we knelt down in front of the beautiful bow. I was very excited since I thought I would be getting advanced archery lessons with this bow. So while my father was called away by the priest to discuss some temple issue, I decided to try out the bow.

It was warm when I picked it up, as if happy to meet me. I strung it and gave the string a twang. Oh. how I loved that sound! Archery was my favorite sport and this bow felt like a twin brother. I looked around for some arrows but there were none. Meanwhile the sound of the bow had brought the high priest and my father back to the temple sanctuary. I turned around and found them looking at me dumbfounded, almost horrified. Then, the priest broke out," Hey Shiva! How dare you touch the sacred bow of Lord Shiva?! And prancing around with it too. As if it was a plaything! Bows, Lord Shiva's Bow at that, are not for girls to play with. Do you understand, little girl?" I was almost in tears by then. I thought my father would tell him to shut up, but he just stared at me, like I had committed a sin. Then with a leaden voice, he said," Put away the bow, Sita." I came up to him and offered it to him. But he wouldn't take it, wouldn't even look at me. He just said, "Put it where you took it from." I put the bow on its altar and ran out of the temple and into my room, flung myself on my bed and broke down. Stupid, stupid bow.

I fell asleep crying and that was when I had that other dream, about those suns, for now I knew what they were. Why can't I have normal dreams like normal girls, I thought. Why can't I dream about handsome princes sweeping me off my feet onto their beautiful, strong stallions? Why do I have to dream about the beginning of time and crap like that? As if I am a God!

Aren't you? Someone asked from within me.

Don't give me that crap. I am a girl and I know my place. God indeed! I shot back.

My resident Spirit, for this was she, said," We'll talk when you have calmed down"

I: I don't wanna talk to you.

Spirit: Yes you do. About the bow, and the light.

I: Ok, what were they?

S: The bow once belonged to Lord Shiva. He used it to fight in a very important war against a demon.

I: He was a God. Why did He have to fight?

S: It was because He fought that He came to be God.

I: You mean, He was not divine? Did He not have special powers, like His third eye?

S: Tell me, who is not divine?

I: You told me once that everyone is, but how can that be?

S: Why not?

I: Ok, how about those monsters in the jungle who eat people up, chew up their flesh and scatter their bones among the trees?

S: They don't know who they are. Just like animals. Do you think if they knew their true self, they would do all this?

I: No, I suppose not. If once you start believing that you are good, you actually become good. If you believe you are bad, you become bad.

S: Yes.

I: But even if one believes himself to be God, he can't become one, right? Otherwise all those kings with their pumped up egos would declare themselves gods immediately.

S: No. That status you have to earn.

I: Earn? What do you mean? No one can earn a God status. You are either a God or you are not.

S: Might I make a correction? Not a God. The God.

I: You mean there's only one?

S: Yes. Same spirit. Different forms. Seems like It does not want to stay away from its creation. So comes down here every few hundred years in the form of a being.

I: Like Shiva?

S: Yes.

I: But you said that he had to earn the right to godhood?

S: Yes. If he had not fought for what is right, the Spirit would have left him.

I: This is crazy!!

S: Well, who do you think I am?

I: You are a figment of my imagination.

S(laughing): I might be, and I might not be. Do you really want to risk it?

I: Maybe not. But tell me, suppose you are The Spirit, what am I supposed to do with you?

S: You could start with believing in yourself, for one. Really, that 'girl' crap you keep saying these days is getting onto my nerves!

I: You have those?!

S: I am serious.

I: Sorry. But that fat teacher keeps telling me, "keep quiet, girls shouldn't chatter so much", or, "shouldn't talk in front of men..."

S: Are you going to believe what he tells you or what I tell you?

I: Fine. I got the point. So what you just said means that I am supposed to be God?

S: No. It only means that you are supposed to fight.

I: Against what?

S: You'll know soon.

I: Ok.(with mock sarcasm) Is there anything else I can do for you?

S: Yes, you can wake up. Your father has come to apologize.