Promises

Promises are usually very hard to keep; but in the end, the promises we do keep are the ones that make us who we are.

The Price of an IITian

Looking for an IITian bridegroom? Well, the starting price is 20 L.

This is what one of my friends told me recently. Her parents are looking for a husband for her, and these are the market rates. It doesn't matter that the girl herself is an IITian, having just completed her dual degree course at IIT Kharagpur with me. Apparently, IITian girls are still not worth a dime. Makes me feel real glad that mine is gonna be a love marriage and S. and his family are such awsome people, so there is no question of dowry here. But then, I know I would have called off the marriage if this had not been the case.

I don't understand. You can forgive parents for being old fashioned, but what if a person from your own generation tells you that just because you also are an IITian, it doesn't mean that you are better than other girls. What the hell is wrong with us?

No, let me rephrase that. WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH US?????

With this mentality, how is an IITian boy any different from a roadside whore, and his parents from pimps? At least, even those women do it to feed their bellies. Does an IITian not earn enough to support himself, his new wife, and his parents on his own? What, then, is the motivation to sell themselves this way?

The 'Forgettor'

I have been accused many times of forgetting my friends in my old place, as soon as I shift to a new location. My bf, soon to be h., says that. Recently my mom said it. I don't know how many times my 'forgotten' friends have said it. My Orkut scrapbook is full of scraps asking me when that last time was that I went online. Now, they have also stopped trying.


I wonder if it's true. Am I really a 'Forgetter'? Are there other people like me, people who 'forget'? And why do people 'forget'? Could it be part of a natural process of adjusting to a new surrounding, or mere cold-heartedness?

On Freedom of Speech

Some time ago, I was thinking about anti-Hindi vomit of Raj Thakeray, and others like him. My first reaction to such people is that they should be banned. Then I thought of this comment by Evelyn Beatrice Hall,"I disapprove of what you say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it." Frankly, these people do have the right to vent out their feelings, even though I firmly believe that these feelings are artificially generated.

Then my thoughts turned to another issue - that of Mr. M.F.Hussain's paintings. Does Mr. Hussain have the right to paint nude portraits of other people's goddesses? And are these people justified in resorting to hooliganism to stop the paintings from being exhibited?

Tricky issue, but I will start my analysis with an analogy. Suppose Mr. Hussain had painted, not a Goddess, but a human girl. Let's say he had painted one of his friends' daughter in the nude, without her permission, but also without using her as a live model. That is to say, suppose he had imagined her in his mind this way and painted her, and given the painting the name of that girl. I hope I am making the situation amply clear.

So, in this case, would he have been justified in painting such a thing? Also, how should his friend have reacted upon knowing that such a picture of his daughter has been painted?

Freedom of speech is an important right guaranteed to us by our Constitution, and it is our duty to defend this right, for ourselves and for others. But this right should be exercised with the utmost responsibility. One should be empathetic while making such public statements. While Mr. Hussain has every right to paint what he painted, but as a human being and a fellow Indian, he should have refrained from doing such a thing. Similarly, the anger of the protesters is understandable and justified, but they also should have refrained from hooliganism to gain their end. Finally, the Thackerays of India should stop stoking the mob mentality and, even now, try to become the responsible leaders that India needs and deserves.

Freedom of Speech as a right is useless without responsible and mature citizens.

On Love - 2

Love is a very weird thing. There are so many different forms of it that we, as mere mortals, can never hope to experience all of them. Love for your parents, your siblings, your spouse, your friends- all these forms are so similar, and yet so different.

Love for parents is perhaps combined with respect and a little desire to rebel. Love for a younger sibling is accompanied by protectiveness and the feeling that you would destroy the world if something ever happens to hurt your little sis/bro (yes B., I would). Love for an older sibling brings a strong sense of protection; that no matter what happens, your big bro/sis will always protect you, be there for you, pamper you when you want to feel like a kid again. Love for a spouse I need not elaborate. Love for a friend binds you in a sort of brotherhood/sisterhood, where you can be yourself in someone’s company and know that they know that they need not pretend to be someone else in yours.

Of all forms of love, there is one that is the purest, and that has the capacity of giving you everlasting joy. In fact, any of the common forms or all of them can (and ultimately, should) be upgraded to it. It is the ultimate Love. Love in its most distilled form. It is the love that does not ask for anything in return for loving. It is happy & self-satisfied in itself. It does not seek promises; it does not want rewards or any sort of gratification. It is content with just the feeling of euphoria that the heart feels in love, and this contentedness, in fact, makes it even more euphoric.

I remember a time when I actually felt that way. But I lost the purity of that love. So I wish the best for all those who are lucky enough to feel this way about someone, and hope that someday I will also feel that love again.

A New Post

I just realized that my last post here was a couple of centuries ago. So here's a new one, just for the heck of it. :)

So you know now, I AM alive.

Next post coming up soon.

Sunday - update 2

We're having a silent protest tomorrow morning, 8 am at Gol C, to attract the attention of BOG Chairman Mr. Muthuraman to the fact that Justice U.C. Banerjee is unacceptable to us as the one-man inquiry committee, as he is a visiting faculty at IIT Kharagpur (Rajiv Gandhi School of Intellectual Property Law). Good luck to us.

Sunday - Update

After protests and candle marches and promises and everything, who does the insti appoint as the one-man inquiry committee to probe into the roles of BC Roy and the administration in Rohit's death? U C Banerjee, the same guy who probed the Godhra carnage and termed it an 'accident'. Wow! Fantastic! Are the authorities out of their collective minds?!! How could they even think that the janta would allow them to appoint someone with such a tainted record to probe this matter? 

Sunday

A lot has happened recently. For details, read:

http://www.scholarsavenue.org/2009/03/22/student-dies-en-route-from-bc-roy-hospital-to-kolkata/

In short, a kid died this Sunday due to medical negligence and administrative apathy. Students, already having lost faith in the Dean, Students' Affairs(DoSA), swarmed in front of the Director's residence hoping for some positive action from him. All they got was the standard beurocratic response of "We'll look into the matter, and punish the doctor responsible." Angry students got frustrated. Here, one of the media-men shooting there, did his trick. He threw a stone at the Director's bunglow. That started a mob reaction, as students broke window panes and the Director's car. After much shouting of slogans, the director resigned from his post late evening. 

Since then, we're having committees and meetings and discussions and what not. While the good news is that the students and the administration seems to have woken up, I don't know how long they'll stay awake. The reaction at the Diro's house, while violent and going against everything we've been taught since childhood, was long overdue. Seriously, how can you ignore the voice of the people you are supposed to be helping, and hope to get away unscathed? 

That said, I think that there are others in the administration, present and past, who deserved this more than the Director. I mean, that guy was new, while there are other people who have held their posts longer, and have ignored this issue longer, and it is their responsibility more that Rohit died. I think we should really try to make sure that the real culprits are made answerable.

While I should be congratulating my fellow-students for managing to get the authorities to listen to them, it came at a great cost. So, I am back to my favourite question. What if? What if we'd had the guts to protest earlier? Don't try to tell me that boycotting Illu was a 'protest'. We all, including the powers-that-be, know what really motivated that boycott. What if our protest had really been an honest protest? Would this have happened?

To be fair, blaming the janta is wrong here. There have been cases of the Institute making an example of the students who tried to speak up- Schols Ave when they published the story on BC Roy, a KGP drams troupe who presented a play on a politically sensitive issue(I forget the exact theme) and a student representative who tried to expose an embezzlement many years ago. The first two got threatened with DC and the last one, poor guy, last I heard, he was still trying to somehow finish his stay here and move on with life. 

Even with all the mistakes of the past, I feel there's still hope. Janta is charged, and is making sure that the authorities will work their a**es off. They're making sure that this is not forgotten. They're assuming an active role in the post-Sunday events. All in all, I think we've learnt our lesson.

Goodbyes

It's that part of the year again, the part with farewells and goodbyes. For me, the only difference is that this year I am at the receiving end of a farewell. Yep, I've almost finished my sentence here and I am ready to fly out. And as the time to finally leave draws near, my mind bombards me with things I need to say to you guys. It becomes increasingly difficult to remember everything, and there is this tiny nagging fear within me that I might forget something, or just not find the opportunity to speak the words out. That's the primary reason I am writing all this. Please forgive me if I end up sounding too presumptuous, but I really need to make sure that I don't leave anything unsaid, just this once.

First and the most important thing, I love you guys. All the people with whom I have interacted at all, and even those with whom I have not been able to, I love you all. You are my very dear bachhas and ben logs, and I will always cherish the time I got to spend with you. To my super-final year ben log, Deepti,Bothra, Erima, Sheekha, Ketkee, Sreeja, Varada, Sravanthi, Suma, Resham, Smriti, Sunitha and Varsha(see, I did put your name in :P ), thank you for helping me through 5th year. To my juniors, especially the present fourth and final year batch, thanks for being around, guys. I don't know what I would have done without you. It has really been an honour and a priviledge to have you as bachhas and friends. 

Now, to the other things that are playing ping-pong in my head.

Life in Kgp can really make or break you, Only one thing is certain, none of us is the same person as she came here. We have learnt, we have evolved, made a lot of mistakes, had a lot of fun, made some friends, some enemies, and we know that some people will never be the same after having known us, just as we'll never be the same having known them.

So, make the most of your 4 or 5 year stay here. Make friends, participate in stuff, learn at least one new skill, and make sure you don't neglect your acads. If you are a tech junkie, build up your departmental funda, tech funda, and make sure you have an IR worth boasting of. Kgp offers you many avenues to exploit your techie inclinations apart from acads. Use them. Others, pick up at least one Soc & Cult activity and one sports event. I not only want to see the S&C and Tech. GCs in SN, I also want to see you fighting for (and getting) slots for the football field and the volley court. And don't you ever let anyone tell you that all this is not possible.

You can get anything and everything you want in life. You got through JEE, didn't you? You qualified the same exam as the rest of Kgp junta, scored higher than a huge percentage of them. What have they got that you don't? Don't let them tell you that the techie stuff is not for girls, or sports is not for girls, or GC or Illu. Don't let sheer numbers, or height, or physical strength overpower you. Find ways over them, under them, around them. Plan your strategy at the beginning of the year. and yeah, work together.

What defines any Hall is not the name, but the people who respond to that name. The people who shout 'SN ka tempo high hai...' The people who slog for weeks to put up a fight in the name of SN. You define SN. But remember, a lone wolf will always be defeated. So move in your pack. Your unity will be your greatest strength. Use it to the full. Don't let groupism and regionalism divide you. Why be a drop when you can be the ocean?

I know this is getting too long, but there are still two events that I keep thinking of. One was way back in my first year. We were out in the Illu arena, working. That year, we'd had huge chatais, bigger than any you guys have yet seen. So, we were wiring, and this senior comes up to us and says,"Kar lo, par SN jitega to nahi." Work, but SN will never win.

Don't you ever say such a thing to your juniors. If you are asking your juniors to spend so much time and energy in an event, the least you can do is fight to win. If you put in an honest effort from your side, you won't be so disheartened when the results don't go as expected, and who knows, some day your juniors will bring the Illu matka to SN. 

The second event is my fifth year Holi. Kudos to all my bachhas who dared to participate in matka-phod, even with all the taunts and jeers from the bandas. Kudos to all the people who dared to climb again even after falling down three times. I am really proud of you, for dreaming, daring and fighting. 

Urrghhh!

I am just so frustrated right now; partially the reason is that I don't know why I am feeling so frustrated. 

The Story of a Princess-11

As days passed by, I felt more and more at home in Ayodhya. The people loved us, and I think they even looked forward to Ram as their future ruler. We tried, as much as possible, to keep in touch with them. This meant travelling all the while, living sometimes in palaces and sometimes in tents, sometimes going without sleep and sometimes without food, but we loved this life. The feeling of togetherness that Ram, Laxman and I developed is indescribable.

Ram and I had been in love for a very long time, but with these tours, we also became the best of friends. I came to know about different aspects of Ram's personality, his infinite compassion, his dedication to his people, his sense of right and wrong, of justice, his stubbornness in refusing to accept what he knew to be wrong, the respect that he gave everyone around him, even though he was their prince and they were ordinary people. Of course, I was already familiar with this last trait. This was part of the reason why I fell in love with him in the first place. He never looked down upon anyone and never saw anyone as his inferior, merely because of social position, or age, or, in my case, gender. 

With him I never felt constrained. I could speak my mind, attend and participate in meetings, practice archery and swordsmanship, talk to anyone I wanted to talk to. All this was huge for women at that time. I asked him once why he felt so disinclined to follow traditions. "Aryavartta wasn't always like this, Sita",he said,"What you see as traditions aren't really our traditions. If we were truly following our traditions then women in Aryavartta would have been freer than they are now, perhaps even freer than you are right now."

As I looked at him in surprise, he continued,"Barely till a hundred years ago, till my great-grandfather's time, I guess, women were considered as being equal to men in all respects. They were even worshipped in many forms like Durga and Kali. Gradually, for some reason that I don't completely understand yet, their standing in society declined, till they became what you see now- birds caged in traditions, bound by culture. Sita, I am sorry. I am so very sorry."

I was confused. What was he apologising for?

"I try a lot, but I still can't give you the respect that you deserve. I hate the fact that your freedom is so dependent on me being alive. You will be caged like all the others, like my mothers, when I die..."

"Please, if you love me, don't ever say that again. Nothing will happen to you."

"Sita, be practical. I am bringing a war upon myself, a war against Ravan and all that he stands for. It is extremely likely that something will."

"Well, Ram, perhaps you are forgetting that I am fighting that war right alongside you. God forbid, but if something were to happen to you, Sita will die with you in the same battle."

He put his hand on my cheek, and I realized that I had started crying. "Some warrior you will be, crying like this!", he joked, but his voice was shaky. Suddenly we were both thinking about a not very much impossible future.

While the bonding between Ram and me became stronger than ever, I developed a different kind of relationship with Laxman. He was this combination of a kid brother, a son and a friend to me, and I am glad the feeling was mutual. For appearances' sake, like in the royal palace of Ayodhya, in front of my father-in-law and his Council-men, we maintained a very formal relation. But in front of the common people of Ayodhya, and while the three of us were alone, we came back to our normal selves.

This was necessary, this deception, because from what we had seen of the Council and the King, Laxman would have been separated from us if they came to know that he was so close to me. Neither Ram nor I could bear the thought of not having Laxman around. The respect that he gave us and the love he evoked in our hearts are beyond belief. Moreover, his quick wit always kept the atmosphere lively. He also had a very strong sense of justice, much like Ram and me, but with a little more anger.

Once we came upon a village that had been destroyed in an attack from beyond the border, just the night before. From what we'd heard, the attackers were a small group, not more than fifteen. So Ram asked Laxman to take a few men and go after them. This was the first time he was commanding a mission. It would have been natural for him to show off by taking too few, or too many, men. But it would have jeopardized his mission and the culprits could escape. For Laxman, at that moment, catching those people was the most important thing in the world. The destruction he'd seen in the village had caused him a lot of pain. He would never let petty pride stand in his way of delivering justice. He took twelve people, just the right number to  defeat them in combat, and to not become a burden in the chase. 

He brought most of the murderers back alive. I was amazed at his self-restriant. To be Laxman, to have seen the brutality with which the poor villagers were murdered by these gutless goons, and to still have resisted the urge to kill them in battle, to bring them to the court of Ram to get justice, this kid was growing up! 

I was looking at him and thinking all this, and I guess my thoughts must have shown on my face, because he said,"What?! They surrendered! I had no choice but to bring them back alive. You know I don't have Ram's self-control!" 

I laughed. Laxman was still Laxman.

Random Thoughts-2

Jai Hind! might have become Yo India!, but it's still Our India that we are cheering.

Random Thoughts-1

There's no such thing as fiction. What is fiction for one person, might be reality for another. I mean, honestly, haven't we always, at one level or another, identified with some of the characters in a play, a movie, a novel? Is it so far off to imagine, then, that the story might really be someone's life history, somewhere? I believe Devdas to be the epitome of a loser, but don't we see so many people around us acting like him, thinking themselves to be some kind of tragic heroes? Is it impossible that Devdas, a purely fictional character, might be inspired by a true tale?