:(

There are times in life when you want to believe the worst about yourselves, when other people's opinion about you sounds true, when your past mistakes start haunting you and try as you may, you can't get out of the feeling of being the most, absolutely most, horrible person on earth. You start remembering all the people you have ever hurt, and you want to wipe their faces out of your mind, but you can't. What is this feeling? Pain? Hurt? Anger? Or fear?

It's fear. Fear of the dopplegangers of the past. Fear of committing the same mistakes again. Fear of getting into the same situation, and being unable to get out. Fear of hurting someone you care about, yet again. Sometimes this fear is so intense that you run away, from that situation, from that person. But sometimes, you stay. And the result is never happy. At least for me, it has never been.

Sometimes being cowardly is a good thing. At least it protects others from hurt, even though it may cut you to pieces.